Healing Our Family Trees

Peace and joy to all. I was asked to share some thoughts on “Healing Our Family Trees.” As a lover of nature, one of the wonders of creation that has always amazed me is the great variety of plants and flowers, and the peace and harmony that I feel whenever I am blessed to be surrounded by its beauty. It connects me in a special way with our Creator. So much variety; each plant, each leaf, each petal unique. No two are alike, ever have been, or ever will be. God certainly loves variety.

I believe there is much we can learn from our extended family of creation – our brother trees and sister flowers, to paraphrase an expression of St. Francis of Assisi. I remember early one morning outside Corpus Christi Church in Stone Mountain, GA, as I greeted folks coming to the 7:00 a.m. Mass, with my red suspenders and a cup of coffee in hand – I was not the celebrant at that Mass - I could not fail to see the tall trees across the parking lot swaying in the breeze, as if with arms raised praising God. I was reminded of a line from Henry David Thoreau’s, “Walden”, which says, “The morning wind forever blows, the poem of creation is uninterrupted, but few are the ears that hear it.” God’s presence is forever made manifest, though we often fail to take notice.

Years earlier at John 23rd Center, a retreat house in Hartford City, IN, I had learned to pay attention and to give thanks. We were instructed to look at the trees and flowers outside any window, then to take a step forward and expand our focus of attention, then to do it again. At each stop to see, appreciate, and give thanks for the wonder of that “masterpiece” of God framed by the window.

If we could only do the same with each other. All too often we only focus on some negative aspect of someone (even, or especially, a family member…even ourselves), something that gets under our skin and so penetrates our senses that it blinds us from seeing the goodness that also exists in that person. It’s as if we are looking at a tree in full blossom at springtime or radiant with fall colors, but only focus on a particular branch that seems dead. We fail to see and appreciate the greater beauty, that would blow us away if we but noticed.

Moreover, I saw a program on experiments that were done with plants, whereby words of kindness and love were spoken to the plants and they seemed to thrive and be more vibrant. The opposite reaction was observed when the words were of anger and hate; the plants began to die. They even did these experiments without speaking the words but merely writing them on cards and placing them next to the plants. Amazing, isn’t it?

So how do we heal our family trees? Perhaps by taking notice of ALL the aspects of another’s personality (their gifts as well as their apparent defects), by appreciating them and giving thanks, and by showering them with words of kindness and love (especially when we are with them), whether spoken or merely in our thoughts.