FRIENDSHIP

Yesterday's reading from the First Book of Kings told us that Solomon blamed his wives for leading him away from God. It seems to be a basic human trait to blame others for our misdeeds or misfortune. Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the Serpent, Flip Wilson’s Geraldine kept us in stitches with, “The Devil made me do it.”

There is no denying it, those around us impact our actions and fashion who we are. Studies show that if you place a solid piece of gold and a solid piece of silver side-by-side, the flakes from one attach to the adjacent block and vice-versa. We are indeed shaped by others…but the choice is ours in deciding with whom we associate. Perhaps, there is no more important decision in life than the friends we choose. Friends are said to be God’s gift to us, but it is we who have the final say on whom we stick with.

At the end of his mission, Jesus calls his disciples “friends” – the ultimate compliment and expression of intimacy, and tells us all that we are his friends if we love each other. He also said, "It was I who chose you." Aristotle said that one of the essential requirements for happiness is friends. He added that if we treated each other as friends, there would be no need for laws.

What is a friend? Poets have said they are those who compliment us…"who help us to make a temple out of the lumber we have been given.” In the movie, “As Good As It Gets”, Melvin tells Carol, “You make me want to be a better man.” More than supporting, affirming, maybe at times even confronting us, listening to us and caring for us, making us laugh, sharing our tears…friends bring out the best in us.

Years ago I sent a Christmas letter with a sketch of a tree showing the roots, and naming them for all who had brought out the fruits and flowers of my being: peace, joy, love, happiness, confidence, generosity, etc. Some years later, a dear friend , Kathy Sea, (an artist who one morning after Mass surprised me with a painting of the Good Shepherd she had created for me – one of my few prized possessions) made a sketch of my face in the form of a puzzle – a few pieces still to be filled in. I am indeed that puzzle that so many have put together…and, yes, others will add their touch to shape me.

I am who I am because of the people I have known…my friends. When I look in the mirror, I hope to more and more see the face of Christ, but I don’t have much difficulty remembering with love those who have made their mark on me.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY DEAR FRIENDS, NEW AND OLD, NEAR AND FAR.